There's No Such Thing As A Reset!

I must confess. I kind of lied. You can't reset life. I don't know how you can if it is possible. But you can change the trajectory of your life. So it's more accurate to say that this blog post is how I changed my life trajectory into what I believe is a better trajectory.

As I'm typing out this blog post, I am taking the very first steps in the direction that leads toward the lifestyle I want to live. Look, it ain't clean, okay? It ain't polished and it ain't pretty. But change will happen - change that I want to happen - and that is as close to a life reset as I can get.

But It Won't Be Perfect

Look, things aren't going to go the way I want them to go. That's just life. I didn't ask to be here, this isn't my world - at least it's not mine alone. Nonetheless, it's not completely mine. That means it's not "designed" to operate how I want it to go because, well, I'm not the "designer." Not suggesting that the world, us or anything in existence is "designed" to be a certain way or not. It certainly doesn't seem like anything is designed. But that's a debate and discussion for another time.

What can be said for sure is I had nothing to do with creating this world. I was born in the middle of something already going on as a continuation of a lineage that was already here. It didn't start with me, that is for sure. I can say that accurately and with confidence. So if I didn't start this world and if I am a continuation of what was before me, then I know this world isn't mine. So what reason do I have to believe that everything should go my way?

But, that also opens up another possibility. Who says things need to go my way? Is that what life's about? Such a childish and immature way to see the world, isn't it? Crying because you can't get your way? Complaining because things don't go the way you want them to go in a world that doesn't belong to you? Seems like as we get older and understand our world, we'd have an expanded view of our world and a deeper understanding of our place in it.

Instead of crying and complaining about how things don't go my way, why not try the adult thing and learn to work with what I have? Survival, especially for a human being as I am, depends on our interdependent relationships with each other and our environment. We have to adapt and work with whatever we have around us to create systems that form a larger collective that works to the benefit of our collective good. We work together in this way because working in a group and putting our collective work together generates way more beneficial survival benefits than working alone ever could. Things aren't perfect, no. But perfection doesn't matter as much as we think it does. Working together and combining our collective work for the survival of the individuals within that collective does more for the individuals than an individual's lone efforts could do for them as single individuals. 

Perfection isn't key. Understanding what you have to work with and who you have to work with and how you can work together to create systems to put your collective work together so you can make up a greater whole that can care for you and those within that greater whole (an organization, family, government and so on).

Bootstraps...

"Pull yourselves up by the bootstraps!" If you've been around a while, you've probably heard that phrase hurled at you. Typically, it's just a flimsy way of saying help yourself because no one else is interested in helping you, including the government you help fund with your tax dollars. It's like the country decided that no taxation without representation wasn't a cool slogan anymore and wanted to flip it on its head into no representation regardless of taxation for us poorer folks, especially. But let's give plenty of government assistance to prop up billionaires and help them pretend like they're profitable and can build an empire that changes the world all on their own... Give me a break!

But that's the point, it seems. Our elected officials, and even some of our neighbors within our communities, don't want to help the poorest of us. Some even take delight in suffering and seeing others suffer - they'll say things like suffering builds character or some other B.S. that glorifies working hard with little payoff in the end.

But enough of my rant. Why bring up bootstraps, and why put that rant here? To give you an idea of what makes me think the way I think. I've been hammered with the message that I have to work hard, get little in return, and sit back and take it with a smile on my face, basically. No safety nets, no government bailouts for me. And also, there will be wage stagnation as prices of everything go up and up year over year, making it nearly impossible to afford anything. Oh, and on top of that? I have to figure out how to make it on my own - if it's possible to make it. And that's where the bootstraps come in. I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps, which is an impossible thing to do. The biggest reason why it's impossible? I don't have any boots! So I have to make my boots first, then pull myself up by the bootstraps just to get somewhere in life.

And the kicker to that is even if I manage to do the impossible, there'll be people waiting to attempt to knock me back down, even after I did the impossible to pull myself up. But even with everything seemingly set up against me, I still have to survive. The best way to do that is to find a way to build my own safety nets - to build my own foundation so I'll have something solid to stand on. How do I do that? Let's talk about it step by step.

First: Control What You Can Control

Oh no! The economy's in the toilet! Well, you can't do much about that. Oh no! That one person said something I don't like hearing! Well, sorry. That's life. People don't say what you want them to say. What are you going to do now? You could deal with that person and get into a confrontation with them.  Would it work out for you? I guess that's ultimately up to you to decide. But I can say it won't stop anyone from saying things about you that you don't like. And what about the economy? The price of everything goes up and up. What can you do about it?

Well, you could get as many of your goods locally. You know, from your neighbors who have a farm? Maybe you could get some of your goods from them for cheaper. Or go to the local farmer's market. Or grow and raise your own food. There are options - maybe some of them you can do, maybe some you can't. But whatever you feel like you have to do is your prerogative.

I've chosen to focus more on controlling the things I do have control over. So what does that look like?

Going after 1099 work in my free time to earn some extra money. That means looking for gig work online, because I'm not doing the DoorDash or Uber thing. That's not worth my time or the cost of gas. I've found remote work gigs that I can do from home on my computer. Now, these may not be the best jobs, but they're something to work with on the side to get me some money, so long as they have work for me to do. So these jobs won't replace my current income, but can supplement it temporarily at least. 

I knew I needed part-time work - a supplemental job that I could hopefully extend into a quick replacement for my regular main job should I lose it. Even though the jobs I do now aren't always stable - there isn't always any work to do - these jobs still pay me weekly when there is work to do. So it's something to get started with. It's not about finding what's best. It's about finding what's good enough for now and moving on when I'm ready for better opportunities. To be ready for better opportunities, I have to build on what I have.

Second: Build On What You Have

Building on what exists already is crucial to improvement. Some people want to go "scorched Earth" mode, erasing what's at the foundations and starting completely from scratch. That's not the best way to go about building something. There may be rare cases where you do have to break something down and build from scratch, sure. But those aren't the normal cases. Normally, you don't have to go to that extreme - and you shouldn't go to that extreme!

Think about the internet. Before WiFi, we connected to the internet via telephone lines. So the internet started off using established infrastructure to connect computers to each other worldwide. It's a classic case of not reinventing the wheel. Imagine how much progress we'd lose if we had to build everything from scratch - from the ground up - when it came to anything.

So, what does building on what I have look like to me? Working remote jobs on top of my regular job, not replacing my regular job with remote jobs immediately.

It also looks like building my public persona - my public brand - to demonstrate my skills. Again, building the next layer or the next phase in my personal journey toward success doesn't mean I build everything from scratch. It means I build on the strong foundation I started with and move on from there.

Third: Putting the System Together

In this phase, it's time to put together the things that work and form them into systems. What is a system? A system is made up of repeatable processes that support your goals and help give you a clear, doable path to accomplishing your goals. It's like a budget for your finances, for example.

The budget lets you know what to buy and what not to buy and should, ideally, be structured in a way that helps you spend your money efficiently in a way that's tailored to your lifestyle. Your budget shouldn't be my budget because my life isn't your life. What you value and what I value may be two different things. I might think you're wasting money on tomatoes because I don't really like eating tomatoes. But tomatoes may be your favorite food. So our budgets would be different if we were comparing what I wanted to buy for lunch and what you'd buy for lunch, especially if tomatoes were involved.

A system is also adaptive - it's not rigid and set in stone. It evolves with you and changes whenever it needs to. So don't beafraid of setting goals. They're not set in stone. They evolve with you. You need a guide right now and your goals can serve as that guide. That's why it's important to make clear, actionable, and achievable goals. You know, S.M.A.R.T. goals? Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound goals. This general framework is created with the intention of helping you have a real, doable, and clear goal with purpose.

With that said, it doesn't mean the goal has to be rigid. You can, and probably should, change your goals over time - especially as you hit different phases of your life. Having systems helps build habits. It encourages and reinforces behaviors you want to have, like being prudent with your money or eating healthy, etc. Systems aren't meant to be set in stone, but to serve as guides to help you achieve a certain goal. As you gain more information or as your environment changes, so too will your systems have to adjust in some way.

Conclusion: What It All Means

Okay, so there's no reset button. What was done in the past happened. We have to deal with whatever we've done in the past - whether it's beneficial or hurtful to us - and move on. For example, I got into debt. It's my fault. But that's okay. No reason to panic. Now that I know I'm at fault, I also know my habits with money can change how much money I have in the bank going forward. If I spent all my money on things that brought little to no value versus saving it, then I know all I have to do is find out how to save more money without overspending.

Of course, that's only one part of the problem. Another part of my problem is figuring out how to have more money in a world where everything keeps going up and up in price. There are some remote gigs I can do - they're not the greatest, but they help stack up some cash. Hey, all I need is a chance - something I can work with. And I can definitely work with 1099 work online.

The point is, no, there's not a reset button. But life is fluid - it's meant to bend and be resilient when put under pressure. It won't break so easily. You can fix what you've messed up in the past in a lot of cases. It may take some time, but you can change the path you're on now to a better one. There may not be a reset button for life, but life isn't over because of one or two or a few mistakes you've made in the past.